


Who Am I?

by Black_and_Red



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Angst, Cussing, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, split personality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:00:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9175555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_and_Red/pseuds/Black_and_Red
Summary: Yuuri stared at the mirror on the wall, eyes taking in his appearance. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair in disarray, dark blue rings clinging to his eyes. Yuuri frowned and took off his glasses, allowing his vision and world to blurr."Oh Yuuri. Let me take the regins on this one. Leave it to me." The familiar voice whispered,"No need to worry, just let me take control."Yuuri ran a hand through his messy locks and sighed, nodding slightly to himself."Good. Good." The voice whispered.Yuuri closed his eyes and let the voice and presence take him over. The voice, now Yuuris', sighed and streched his limbs. He picked up the glasses off the sink and placed them on his nose."It's time to have some fun." Yuuri grinned at himself in the mirror and blew a kiss.Now the fun would begin.





	1. Yuuri Katsuki

The audience had always been too much for the young ice skater. The weight of their gaze made him nervous and slightly nauseous, causing his skating to be less than what it could be. One day he decided he'd had enough of failing, of being a disgrace. He decided that he would make a new him, a better him to replace himself. He locked himself in his room and couldn't be swayed to come out. He thought of a new him, of what the new person would do better. His attitude, his personality, his thought process was all intricately weaved until he started to become the new person. The man not afraid to take the ice and perform to his hearts content. Yuuri licked his lips and smiled. Now was his time to shine.

~·*·~

Yuuri swayed his hips in time with the music, hands in the air swaying. The lights of the club flashed in time with the beat of the bass, illuminating the sweating bodies on the dance floor. Yuuri felt someone grasp his hips tightly and ground onto him. He looked back at the person and smiled flirtatiously at him before returning the favor. The man holding him laughed slightly and continued to dance with the boy in front of him, the tight jeans he wore becoming tighter. Yuuri leaned back and ran his hands through the man's hair, lightly tugging the long strands. The man kissed and nibbled at Yuuri's neck, exciting him further. A soft whimper left Yuuri's lips as the man nibbled one particular spot on his neck.

"Jackpot" The man whispered, a Russian accent filling Yuuri's ears.

The Russian attacked the spot on Yuuri's neck, coaxing quiet moans and whimpers to leave his mouth. One of the man's hands left it's spot on Yuuri's hip and wondered under his shirt, feeling the flushed skin beneath. Yuuri's breath hitched as the man's hand wondered upwards, skimming over his nipples. The bodies around them pulsed with heat and pushed them together, making the clothes they wore even more unbearable. The Russian removed his other hand and yanked Yuuri's head back to bring him into a passionate kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance, their bodies rocked against each other. Yuuri basked in the attention he was getting and even moaned at the rough treatment. The Russian pinched his left nipple and played with it, trying to force the man in his hands into submission. The Japanese man moaned into the kiss and the Russian was able to take the upper hand.

" _Ah!_ ",Yuuri gasped as the other man palmed him through his short shorts, pre already leaking.

The Russian smirked and continued to make the boy hot and bothered. A pair of hands grasped Yuuri and yanked him out of the Russians hold.

"What the hell!",The Russian yelled, eyes searching for the thief who stole his boy.

The Thai skater looked at the Russian with murder in his eyes. Yuuri scanned the man over and frowned, visions of what've could been flashing in his mind. The man was well built with beautiful green eyes and shimmering blonde hair. Phichit started to drag the boy away from the Russian hunk not caring for Yuuri's cries. The blonde stared after the two boys, anger and lust in his eyes.

"Yuuri! How many times have I told you not to hook up with random strangers?",Phichit growled, anger lacing every movement he made.

Yuuri remained silent and stared after the blonde Russian, hoping to see him again. Phichit pushed the boy outside and followed soon after, thanking the bouncer in the process. Phichit walked them to an alley that was void of life and pushed Yuuri up against the brick wall.

"I want my Yuuri back. Give him back.",Phichit demanded, staring at the man in front of him.

Yuuri giggled, bringing one of his hands up to play with Phichit's silky locks. Phichit swatted his hand away and pushed him even further against the wall.

"Give. Him. Back.",Phichit growled, eyes darkening.

Yuuri sighed,"You're never any fun. Fine."

Yuuri closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. His body went rigged under Phichit's hands before he relaxed once again.

"Yuuri? Yuuri.",Phichit whispered, cradling the boy close to his chest.

The boy opened one eye then the other, confusion filling those brown orbs as he looked up at Phichit.

"Phichit? Why are you here?",Yuuri looked around at the alleyway and scrunched up his nose,"Why aren't I at the skating rink?"

The Thai skater frowned and scooped the Japanese man into his arms before walking towards their shared apartment. The pale boy sighed, understanding what happened.

"Yuuri, why do you give him total control?",Phichit mumbled.

Yuuri frowned and buried his face into Phichit's chest.

"You can't let him control you life.",Phichit sighed,"I know he helps you when you're on the ice, but that's where he needs to stay. On the ice."

"I know.",Yuuri whispered into the Thai boys chest.

Phichit glanced down at the boy in his arms and kept walking, their silence filling the night air. Yuuri shivered and snuggled up against Phichit for warmth. The Thai boy frowned and looked at his attire. Short blue jean shorts and a light blue crop top was all that covered the Japanese boy. The dark skinned boy tapped Yuuri on his shoulder with the tips of his fingers, indicating that he was going to put him down. Yuuri stood in front of Phichit as he shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over the Japanese boy. Yuuri gratefully snuggled into the jacket, arms going into the sleeves and hands zipping up the soft fabric. Phichit smiled softly at the boy before scooping him back up in his arms.

"Phichit...",Yuuri mumbled, eyes closing slightly.

"Hmm?",The Thai boy hummed.

"Where are my glasses?",The words leaving the Japanese skaters lips made Phichit smile.

Laughing slightly Phichit patted Yuuri on the head.

"They're at home."

Yuuri nodded slightly, eyes drooping shut,"Home..."

The Japanese skater fell asleep in Phichit's arms, missing the look of love on the Thai boys face.


	2. Yuuri Katsuki

Yuuri sat hunched over grasping his phone tightly to his chest, tears falling to the ground beneath him. Phichit rubbed his back and whispered comforting words to the mourning boy.

"Vicchan, I'm so sorry." The Japanese man murmured.

Phichit said nothing and ceased speaking to the young man as his hand continued to rub circles on his back.

The bright lights in the locker room highlighted this interaction to passing students, causing them to become slightly uncomfortable. Phichit soon took notice of this and shook the boy next to him.

"Yuuri. Would you like to go home? I could make a pork cutlet bowl for you." Phichit asked, his voice low and gentle.

Yuuri nodded slightly and reached blindly for his skates. Feeling the familiar worn leather of his skates helped him calm down enough to put the skate guards on the blades and grab his bag. Following Phichit out of the locker room Yuuri wiped away at tears that wouldn't stop coming.

The Thai skater frowned at the boy behind him and stopped walking for a second so the Japanese skater could catch up. Phichit threw an arm around Yuuri and drew him into his side, a small smile climbing onto his lips when the young Japanese man blushed.

~·*·~

Yuuri smiled weakly as a light gray hamster crawled up his chest. The small animal curled up between his shoulder and neck, tickling him slightly. The light brown and tan hamsters laid in his lap, sleeping, curled together.

"Yuuri! The pork cutlet bowls are ready!" Phichit yelled from the kitchen, hands putting the finishing touches on the food.

Yuuri jumped at the sudden noise, waking the small animals resting on him. Cooing gently at the startled fuzz balls Yuuri picked up the hamsters and put them in their cage. Immediately the hamsters cuddled together into a ball of fluff, making Yuuri give a pained smile.

"Yuuri! Come eat!" Phichit yelled, placing two bowls on their small table.

Yuuri shut the cage and walked towards the kitchen, the smell of pork wafting through the apartment.  Taking a seat at the small table he quietly told Phichit thank you before grasping the chopsticks next to his bowl and eating slowly. Sighing Phichit softly did similarly. They sat in a melancholy atmosphere, unsaid words filling the space between them.

Abruptly Yuuri placed his chopsticks on his bowl and stood up, mumbling quickly that he was going for a walk. He turned and left the Thai boy sitting at the table staring at Yuuri's barely eaten bowl of food.

~·*·~

Throwing on a jacket and scarf Yuuri made his way down the stairwell and towards the busy streets of Detroit. Yuuri set a brisk pace for himself, walking towards an unknown destination. The loud noise of the city helping to distract him from his own thoughts. 

 _"Yuuri"_ The Japanese boy's head snapped up. Looking around he saw that he was at the local dog park.

 _"Let me take control Yuuri. You won't feel the pain anymore."_ The familiar voice hummed.

"No. No, it'll only be gone for a little bit and it will come back." Yuuri mumbled to himself, eyes shut tight.

 _"Oh, my precious Yuuri. Don't you want to rid yourself of this pain? Of this regret? Of this sadness?"_ The voice whispered, a pair of invisible hands holding him.

"It'll just come back. You can't get rid of this." A lone tear slid down his cheek.

 _"But do you want your friends to see you like this? Like some idiot? Some crybaby?"_ It's hold tightened, _"Do you want Phichit to think less of you?"_

That sentence cut through his foggy mind like a knife.

"Phichit wouldn't. He knows what I'm going through." Yuuri stammered.

 _"But what if he does? You are weak without me. You are not confident without me. You are nothing without me. Is that not true?"_ The voice sneered.

"I, I..." Yuuri swallowed down a wave of tears. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak. He felt like he was drowning on dry land.

 _"You were a nobody without me."_ It held on tighter, _"Now let me do my job and make you something."_

With a shuttering breath Yuuri let himself be taken over.

The transition between Yuuris was getting easier as time progressed. It was like slipping on a glove now. Fast and simple.

The change was instantaneous. Yuuri went from insecure and depressed to confident and slightly arrogant in a few milliseconds.

Yuuri sighed and stretched out his arms.

"Now," Yuuri murmured to himself, eyes scanning his surroundings,"Where can I get a cheap drink?"

Yuuri looked disdainfully at the park around him. The smell of wet dog filling his nose.

"Stupid mutts."

He sauntered out of the park and didn't look back, not noticing the silver haired man who had watched the entire thing.


	3. Yuuri Katsuki

Yuuri knocked back another shot, loving the burning feeling it left in the back of his throat. He placed the shot glass back on the bar, a devious smile on his lips. The bartender laughed lightly at the gorgeous patron and refilled his shot glass.

 "Thank you." Yuuri purred, reaching a hand out to run across the mans arm.

 The bartenter smiled flirtatiously and grabbed Yuuri's hand, placing a kiss on his knuckles. The Japanese man giggled and pulled his hand towards himself, bringing the bartender closer.

 "If you want, I could pay you..." Yuuri trailed off and put his mouth against the older man's ear," with my body."

 The man shivered and leaned back to pull Yuuri into a kiss. Yuuri smiled wickedly and placed a finger over the other man's lips.

 "Ah, ah, ah." Yuuri whispered. "One more drink, make it a piña colada."

 The bartender laughed at the man in front of him and pulled away to get him his drink. The Japanese man turned to look at the rest of the bar, eyes scanning for his next victim.

 A flash of silver caught the young man's attention. His eyes looked for the cause. Once he saw what caught his attention he licked his lips and got up from the bar, the other man completely forgotten.

 With the stride of a predator, Yuuri walked towards the handsome silver haired man. Weaving in and our of the way of other paying customers Yuuri quickly made it to his destination. Deciding to play up the ' _I'm too drunk to know what I'm doing act_ ' Yuuri stumbled and caught himself on the young man, placing his head in the middle of his chest and wrapping his arms around the silver haired man to keep himself firmly there. Looking up doe eyed Yuuri smiles sweetly.

 "I'm-I'm so sorry." He mutters, cheeks flaring up.

 The other man laughs at the dark haired boy in his arms.

 "It's okay." The accent that accompanies the short statement is thick, almost making the words incomprehensible.

 "You have really, really pretty eyes." Yuuri compliments, his gaze, though a bit unfocused, pierces through the other man.

 "Thank you."

 Snuggling into the man's chest Yuuri lets out a content sigh,"So warm."

 The other man laughs with new gusto, the vibrations reaching the Japanese man. Said man looks up, head slightly tilted to the side -much like a puppy- in question.

 "You're so, hmm how do you people say it..." The man trails off in though before his eyes light up,"adorable! That's the word!"

 Yuuri hides his face in the older man's chest and giggles, his arms tightening themselves around him. The older man wraps his arms around the dark haired man's back and places his chin on the youngers head. They stay in this position until loud shouts start to ring out in the small bar.

 The silver haired man looks up towards the commotion, an inquisitive look on his face while Yuuri tries to hide his face further in the man's chest.

 "Wonder what that's about..." The older man murmurs, eyes on the growing commotion.

 "Can you take me home? Pretty please?" Yuuri asks, head turned away from the bar.

 The silver haired man makes a sound of surprise, eyes coming to look at the top of the smaller man's head.

 "I promise I don't bite. I just wanna go home..." Yuuri blinks slowly. Home. Phichit. Vicchan.

His double attempts to keep his hold but soon loses the battle. Yuuri is back.

 "Vicchan..." Yuuri murmurs, not aware of anything at the moment.

 "How did you...?" The silver haired man trails off after noticing the tears streaming down the other mans face.

 At the sound of the mans, now dubbed 'Vicchan', voice Yuuri breaks out of his little pity party. He looks up at the man in his arms and blushes 20 different shades of red. He quickly retracts his arms and steps away, apologies leaving his mouth in both English and Japanses. He does many small bows and tries to get away quickly but is stopped by a very angry bartender. Said bartender yanks Yuuri by forearm and brings him close, eyes having taken a dangerous glint.

 "I think you promised me something." The growled out words had the hairs on the back of Yuuri's neck stand on end.

 Red eyed with tear stains on his pink cheeks, a runny nosed Yuuri stammered out,"I-I don't-"

 "As you can see, he's clearly uncomfortable with you. Please release him." Vicchan said, stepping forward.

 The bartender looked him up and down before releasing Yuuri. The Japanese man rubbed where the bartender had grasped him. He was sure it was going to bruise.

 "You owe me 50 dollars. Pay up." The bartender held out his hand and looked at the wrecked man expectantly.

 Yuuri looked between the two men, eyes wide and frightened.

 "I don't have any money on me." Yuuri shrunk away from the man in front of him, unintentionally curling up to Vicchan's chest.

 The bartender's laugh had a mad bite to it.

 "Then I guess we'll have to go with what you first promised me." He reached out to grab the smaller man again but instead got a 50 dollar bill.

 "That should pay his tab. Have a nice night." Vicchan said, already turning with Yuuri in his arms.

 The bartender gave an irritated growl but didn't follow the two retreating figures out onto the street.

 Vicchan held Yuuri close to him as they left the bar, curiosity and a sense of protectiveness washing over him. Once they had walked about two blocks away from that dastardly place, the older man let go of the younger and looked him in the eyes. The Japanese man shifted nervously under his scrutinizing gaze and looked away, shyly tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ear.

 "So I wasn't imagining it." The silver haired man whispered, eyes still locked on Yuuri.

 The younger man froze as look of terror made its way onto his face.

 "What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me forever to upload this! I hoped you enjoyed it!


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